law school wasted

I just met you, and I’m fucking crazy

If you have been following me for awhile, you may have noticed that I have a slight disdain for the male population, as a whole. In a phrase, they all blow insanely toxic donkey dick. How did I become such a bitter misanthrope at the tender age of 25, you ask? Well, it was not an overnight journey. Dudes really did not become much of a concern or interest for me until college, and I mindlessly flirted and hooked up with them without too much of an emotional investment for a majority of my undergrad years. 

My first real relationshit was during my junior to senior year of college, where I dated by best (male) friend at the time. While were weren’t technically dating, about eight months in, he informed me that he could never introduce me to his parents since I was (and currently am black), and that he didn’t want a serious girlfriend (hint: whenever a guy says this, it means he doesn’t want to date you.) After I told him he could go fuck a porcupine with his micropenis, a month later, he was real life, fb offically dating a girl. I wouldn’t call this my first heartbreak, but rather, the marked beginning of the slow denigration of my heart turning into an eternal black hole of despair. This manifested in the pursuit a lot of boyfriends… who just weren’t my own. I am not proud of this, but it has become a startling theme in my life.  I cant really afford the intensive therapy it’ll take to figure out why right now, so I’ll just write about it.  I’ll talk about the ones that are the most emotionally scarring. 

The first of the series I met abroad, and when started hooking up, he also started dating another girl on the trip. Legitimately, he would take her out on dates during the day, and then come home and hook up with me. I caught on to the act eventually, but that was pretty fucking shady. Five years later, they are still dating. Mazel. (Kill me)

This particular gentleman lived in my freshman dorm and I always thought he was an amazing guy, but had a long term girlfriend at the time. My junior year, he was dating someone else, but at a Christmas party kissed me under the mistletoe, and put the moves on me hard… so I mean I couldn’t say no. While I realize hooking up with him was my fault as well, its easy to be bitter because I shit you not, he just proposed to this same girlfriend last week. What the fuck. 

The last one I will talk about is probably the most fucked up of them all, and maybe I’ll devote another post just to this particular indiscretion, because the tale is long and twisted. He went to law school with me, and when I met him, he had a long term girlfriend of 3 years. She lived in a different state far far away. We hooked up on and off for more than six months, and then, he starting dating another girl in our class. After they broke up (now almost a year later after we consummated this horrible partnership), we started hooking up again this past summer and the beginning of this school year. He has since gotten back with his ex girlfriend and moved back to east bumblefuck to be with her. I am waiting on the engagement announcement. Major joke on me. 

This is only the tiny tip of the iceberg that may possibly explain why exactly I am so fucking exasperated with dudes, but hopefully guys can relate to some of many mistakes and misdeeds I have committed along the way!